Column: What if Dating were a Video Game?

I hope that everyone had a great winter break. There were a variety of ways to enjoy our three weeks of sanity. I am sure several of you hit the slopes to enjoy the gallons of snow dumped over our beautiful state, while others of you may have chosen a more comfortable alternative and stayed inside, forgoing the bitter cold by reading a nice book under bundles of blankets, or sipping hot cider by a warm fire.

As for myself, I was in California, so I didn't experience the winter blizzards, but I enjoyed my fair share of precipitation. With torrents of rain pouring over my house, I decided to stay inside, and to keep from succumbing to cabin fever, I played video games. Okay, maybe they aren't your traditional video games, I was never any good at games that required extraordinary thumbs and extensive digit muscle memory, but I am good at Guitar Hero World Tour, and Wii games are never too far out of my reach. However, after touring the world for several days, and rising to stardom in the comfort of my living room, I ultimately returned to the typical musings of my mind, which of course are always revolving around my column, and the fascinating world of dating.

Last semester dating was a little rocky and a little bit dull as well, it was up and down and never where I wanted it to be, and I certainly had no do-overs and it was never something I had significant control over. So over the three weeks of nothingness, I had a lot of time to ponder, and with video games invading my days, I began to wish that dating were like a video game.If dating were a video game, I am convinced we would all be a lot happier.

For starters, you get to play by levels, slowly working yourself up from level one garden gnome, and don't have to worry about starting and failing at level 72 warlock. I have found that one of the reasons a relationship fails, is that people are often on different levels. If dating were a video game you would have the option to choose the level, you could stay there for as long as you wanted, and when you were prepared, then you could move from Guitar Hero level easy to medium, and then from hard to expert at your own pace, and most important when you were ready.

Next, if dating were a video game you would have a pause button. When mommy is calling you down for dinner, or when you need to go outside for a minute of fresh air to jump on your trampoline or play jump rope with Skipper, you could simply push the pause button. There are times in my relationships I wish I could push a pause button. Step back from the situation, give myself a break, and think about what I really wanted, or where I wanted things to go. I know some of my dating failures were due to the fact that I needed a break, not that I didn't like the person, but that I simply needed to step away from the situation for a week or two. Breaks are not allowed in the real world. Life moves on and no matter what you do or how hard you try, there is no pause, and if you force a pause, life moves on without you, which can be even worse.

Third, if dating were a video game you would get extra lives. Your girlfriend would forgive you for that awful fight you had the other day, your boyfriend would understand when you crash his car, you would get a second chance to impress the parents or the friends, and you would get that second chance on that first date where you were so nervous you threw up in your date's lap. It would be like Groundhog Day, just start the date over with new knowledge and the confidence to make it better than the last. You could just keep trying until it worked out.

Which brings me to our next point. If dating were a video game, ending things would be easy. When things got boring or hard or were just not our type of game, we could simply select the end button. It would be easy, it would be clean, and there would be no hard feelings. There would be no reason to explain ourselves or to have the awkward "it's not you it's me" conversation, you would simply move on and so would they.

Lastly, if our dating lives were going to be like video games we would all have super cool moves and powers. We would be able to handle any dating situation that came our way, or at least impress our dates with our nunchucks, mad guitar super stardom, and our other skills, because everyone knows, as Napoleon Dynamite put it, "Chicks dig guys with skills."

Yes, if dating were like a video game I dare say it would be a lot easier for all of us to handle, maybe even more fun for those of us who have had several hits in a row. Even when you fail at a video game you still had a fun time, and it is easier to remember the time we made it to level 72 and failed with fondness, instead of the bitterness that too often consumes us after the break-up of a long and meaningful relationship.

But while this analogy sounds nice, it is still only one of those many "what ifs" that we as humans conjure up. While dating would be nice as a video game, it would also be a lot less exciting, and a lot more predictable. I am sure many of us would be sharing cheats and tips to help us all get to level 72 with ease and in a breeze, but we would miss the adventure along the way. It is the pitfalls that add the contrast to our triumph, and without the bruises and bumps we would never appreciate when things go well.

Dating isn't a video game, and life isn't easy. We can't just enter a code and have everything be okay, but it is better that way, and more meaningful. It is my New Year's resolution to appreciate every tiny aspect of dating, savor every bumpy part of the road, and realize that it isn't so bad as I make it out to be, oh and I have also resolved to play Expert on Guitar Hero, but that's for another day.